Importance: Helpful tips for men
|How to build a Fifi
Edited by Alan, taken from the Howard Stern Show,
as told by Scott Wieland
Men, for those of you who did not hear Scott Wieland from STP
on the Howard Stern show, you missed some of the most valuable
mastabatory information of your lives. Scott described how to
make a Fifi. He learned how to do this in prison.
Take a hand towel. (The hand towel is the one in between
the face cloth
and the Bath towel.)
|| Lay it out flat
Take a rubber glove and put it at one end of the towel with the opening
of the glove facing you, and hanging out of the towel about 0.5 inches.
Roll the rubber glove up in the towel loosely. Start at the
left and work right.
Then take the rolled up towel and jam it into a sock.
Top View Looking at the mouth of the beast.
||Squirt lotion into the glove opening.|
||Fuck the glove.
- When I originally heard to use a rubber glove, I thought
Scott meant to use a dishwashing glove. I instead used a
rubber surgical glove, and had good results. You can buy
these in bulk from Home Depot.
- For lotion I used some Victoria's Secret Vanilla. It's
good quality and it smells nice. You don't want your fuck
sock to smell like the Jergens your mom used.
- As for the sock you need to use a big one. The idea of
the sock is to hold the glove in the towel, but not too
tightly. If you have a mighty wang like I do, you'll find
it tough to jam it in there if the sock is too tight. If
you're having difficulty getting your manhood in the glove
you can try a couple of things. Either apply the lotion
right to your schlong, or try screwing the sock on to your
cock. This turns out to be a nice sensation as well. Something
that neither your hand or your woman can do.
- Make sure the rubber glove that is sticking out is pulled
around the penis. You don't want the extra flap getting
in the way.
- This is the best simulated vagina I've ever had. The
nice thing is it's cheap and clean. When you're done with
the glove you just throw it away.
- For you single guys you can have a bunch of Fifis loaded
up and ready to go.
- I'm looking forward to hearing other peoples experience
with the Fifi. Let me know if you have any comments of questions
about the best handjob you'll ever give yourself.
H.J. OX says: "For your information, there is a much better
way to build a fifi, and this comes from a friend who spent
time in prison. he was lucky enough to get a job in the kitchen.
he told me the same method you explained, but instead of the
rubber glove, he used raw liver, sliced thin. i think some sort
of hand lotion (jergins) was his recommended lube, spread it
all over the liver, then pummel yourself with the contraption.
he claims it was exactly like a real coochy. the downside is
that it's more expensive than the glove, unless you eat it.
I did not ask whether he served the used liver to his fellow
inmates, but if so i guess it's even more cost-effective than
Silver Fox claims: "That the sock you wore all day is best
-- by itself -- because it's all damp and wet."
Tough call which is more disgusting.