Doug has been a standup comic for many years. He has been seen on Comedy Central's Premium Blend, and Louie Anderson's Comedy Showcase. After Jackie Martling left the "Howard Stern Radio Show," Doug got the chance to fill in.
Doug was nice enough to grant us an interview about his life in comedy and filling in on the "Howard Stern Radio Show."
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What city are you in right now?
Seattle, Working

Your act is pretty macho, what's the girliest thing you do in real life?
Get stuffed in the ass with my girlfriends dildo. I guess you could call
that girlie-ish.
That's more gay than girlie, butt whatever.

How much does a guy like you get laid on the road?
Not nearly as much as a Jim Carrey/Jerry Sienfeld type that's cute and non-threatening, but far more than a fat pool cleaner.

Other than the occasional groupie are there any other advantages to being on the road?
When you fuck up there are fewer apologies to make.

I found doing standup as one of the most demoralizing, baring your soul in front of strangers, so they can pee on you experiences of my life, has your experience been more positive than that?
I find my need to bare my soul more demoralizing than the fact that people don't give a fuck. How can you expect them to? My experiences have been good overall although there are points I will look back at in horror.

On your web site, you have your "Best of the Road" series, where you list a lot of your favorites places you've encountered while you're on the road. So why is Mary's (Portland, OR) the best titty bar?
Kinda skeezy corner bar you'd hang out in anyway, just happens to have a few naked chicks that rotate on a small stage. Play the jukebox to dance to, pass the hat every now and again for juke money. Chick owned with slots and a pool table. Sweet.
I'm surprised. I thought it was more like handjobs in the bathroom and a shot and a beer is $1.25.

How were you able to hook up a fill in gig for "Jackie The Joke Man" on the "Howard Stern Radio Show?"
Sent my CD's a couple times. Eventually they played a track of one. Shortly thereafter I heard they were looking to fill a seat so I called Gary and set up a day to sit in. I then went on and promptly froze like a computer with too many programs going.

When you came in to fill in, what were they looking for you to do? Did they give you any kind of guidance?
They were incredibly supportive, far more than I was expecting. I don't think they exactly knew what they wanted me to do aside from try to find a way to fit in and be the best at what I do. I never did get that loose.

Is it hard to be funny at 6:00 a.m.?
Depends on the environment. Sometimes you're funnier at 6 am.

After all the time you've spent on stage, is it hard not to be bitter about
the fact you don't have your own TV show?
Actually it is hard, which sucks considering I don't really have a desire to have any kind of sitcom. But you get into a place where you're judging yourself on that barometer, getting disheartened when people you hate get shows when the fact is that those shows suck and those people remain unfunny.

Is there anything else you'd like people to know about you or your act?
You can get my stuff on Napster or buy it at my website
www.dougstanhope.com. I have two CD's, Sicko and Something To Take the Edge Off. There's a third out there that is a resounding piece of shit I did for a record company years ago that still haunts me. Its called The Great White Stanhope. Stay away from it.

Ready for the lightning round? Yes. Yes I am.
Favorite food? Sushi - eel
Favorite Position? Girl on top, jockey style, squatting so as to create minimal contact save for the genitalia. Like an effortless blowjob in a toothless mouth.
Favorite sound? Wet shit sounds always make me laugh.
Favorite movie? Breakfast Club, Fight Club, Some Kind of Wonderful, 9th Configuration, many others. These just came to mind.
Real or Fake? I'd rather have a nice fake tit than an ugly real one.
Boxers or Briefs? Jockeyboxers or Freeball
Dinette set or trip to Europe? Trip. Good times always over good things.
Ability to fly or become invisible? Ooh fuck. Great question. I'll go with fly. I don't seem to be far off from invisible right now.